The Groundwork

So some of my loyal readers and long-time followers have a myriad of questions that remain unanswered.  Who am I to deprive my followers (0) and my page-viewers (4) the insight into BigMike's life that they seek to have answered?

So let's get some of the basic formalities out of the way now.

How old are you?  35 yrs young

What qualifies you to give advice/insight into the world of mentally illnesses?  For starters, I HATE that suffering from depression or anxiety qualifies you to be 'mentally ill', because that label is generally associated with straight jackets and padded walls, but I digress. 

I've actually suffered from anxiety and depression since a teen.  I wasn't officially 'diagnosed' until I had a 'breakdown' during my first year in the military, (please note that the numerous quotations being used are because i don't typically agree with words society uses to characterize certain aspects of these 'illnesses', but i need some verbiage that most will understand). 

I've been on and off medication ever since the age of 18, and I continue to search for the right combo of exercise, meds, and meditation that works best for me.  Like any partially-sane individual, I wanted to be like everyone else and hated taking medication in order to exist so there were many periods of my life where I would self-medicate through the use of drugs and/or alcohol.  Those great decisions led to four arrests, two rehabs, two detox's, two mental institutions, two suicide attempts via overdose, two rehabs, and one long-term behavioral modification program. 

Now don't get all freaked out because once I re-read that last sentence, i almost thought I might be certifiably crazy too, but that's not the case.  I've primarily always held down one sort of job or another.  I've actually had a rather successful career in the banking industry (for the most part), and nobody really knows anything about my former life as a hell-raising, drug-dealing, womanizing, gambling, male-escort/pimp.

So how long have you been a Certifiably Crazy Person?  Wha?  Wait....what the fuck?  As previously stated, I'm not crazy.  Okay, well, actually.....to be completely honest, I am slightly crazy but only in the sense that I can still be reckless and daring from time to time and I do like the occassional fisticuffs (for any reader born after the 70's, fisticuffs means fighting). 

Now there's two kinds of crazy:  Good Crazy and Bad Crazy. 

Bad Crazy is padded walls, straight jackets, multiple personalities, and all that extra shit that requires for you to be institutionalized (please note my two brief stints in mental hospitals were only because I sucked at killing myself). 

Good Crazy is sorta like what all females have.  It's this other personality that's right below the surface that can sometimes take alot (or a little) to bring to the surface (depending on the level of craziness).  Now please, please, please don't think I'm bashing females in anyway whatsoever because I love them all dearly, but they know they're crazy.  All it takes is a smooth talking man that can fuck the hell out of them for a few hours a day a few times a week to bring that crazy woman out.  Not that I'm speaking from experience..... *wink*wink*

50,000 blogs are created a day.  Why yours?  I can't answer that.  This page might not be for you.  Actually, this page won't be for most people.  But I KNOW that there are people out there that are hurting.  I know that someone's struggling right now and maybe this page is exactly what they need to help alleviate the tightness in their chest.  Maybe on that day that you don't want to get out of bed and face the world, maybe my words just might give you that reason.  Maybe my words give just one person a reason to see if maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be better.  I don't know exactly what purpose this Blog is going to serve,
but I know I can't wait to find out.  So my journey continues.

Big Mike, were you really a pimp?  Shut your Mouth! 

But we just talking bout Big Mike....  I can dig it.