Could This Be Love?

I'll be 40 in two months and I don't think I've ever been in love. I've loved women. But being IN love is different. Approximately one year ago, i got out of a painful 11 year relationship. I loved her and she loved drugs. Prior to that, I was a reckless twenty-something that was incapable of loving anyone because I didn't love myself. Now, I love me. Now, i think I'm about to love her.

We've only had two dates but we spoke for weeks prior to those phenomenal events taking place. Everything is different. The intensity is deafening. When I look into her eyes, the rest of the world ceases to exist. I hear nothing but her. I take in her scent and a blanket of calmness covers my soul. I guess this is a prelude to love. What the fuck else could it be? 

It's one of the most exciting feelings I have ever felt and I know I want more. I crave it. I know I want this and that's why I'm not holding back. I'm not going to 'play it cool' or purposely not return her calls/texts to remind her that I'm not sweating her. I was always too afraid to expose who I was, so instead, I played games. I'm too fucking old for games. I'm not worried about getting hurt. I know that what was meant to be, will be.

And today, right now, I know that I feel emotions for this woman that I've never felt before. I know I care more about her feelings than I have for any woman I've been with. It's crazy to think that I'm about to fall in love. But I am. 

How could I not? She's amazing. She's beautiful. She's kind. She's funny. She's everything I ever wanted in a woman. 

She's like no one I've ever met before. And I say that because no woman has ever gripped my attention and my soul so abruptly. 

Prior to my first date with this vixen, I used to think that people who talked about 'love at first sight' were crazy. But now I get it.

I get her. I get Us. And for once, I get love.